Layoffs!

Several people I know were laid off today, and there's the inherent possibility that several more people I know--including myself--may be laid off in the near future. It's not the best thing that could have greeted my return from vacation. I'm struggling to keep this in perspective, to not worry about what this means for me and my store, but it feels like I've got something gnawing at the inside of my stomach. I talked to Ted yesterday and told him about my uncertainty at work. He said something that I should agree with: The same reason I will stay employed, or be re-employed, is that I am very desirable as an employee. I've got a college education, seven solid years of work experience, and aptitudes is both communication and technology.

Still, how can I not take it as personal (even though I may still avoid being laid off). As often as the job is stressful and undercompensating, I want to keep it; losing it would feel like a defeat.

I hate to relate this experience to my dad dying, but it is similar in one way. When my dad was still alive, I felt a great deal of anxiety about the grief I would feel when he eventually died. When it came time to grieve, though, the anxiety of the grieving was relieved. I only wish I could loose the completely unproductive anxiety. I guess I want to be laid off--if I didn't, I'd be looking for a new job.