It's Like the Sky

I started working back on maggie's farm this last week. It was weird to be back. I feel like my name has attained a sort of grim celebrity. People kept professing to how glad there were to see me.

The hardest part was coming home from the job and not having Wendy at the ferry waiting for me. When I came around the corner, I looked to "the spot." The spot is where she would wait for me. Often, on the ferry coming in, she would call my cell phone and tell me she was in the spot. I wanted to find her there. It hurt, but I guess it's good that I did it anyway. Each time is bound to hurt less. I am looking at her photo now, with Luke. It's up on my refridgerator, along with other photos of us together. I only knew her for eight years. It seemed like a lifetime. I expected it would be a lifetime. we were so happy together.

I've been reading A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. I was reading it while waiting the other day for the work shuttle to take me to another building to get some paperwork done. It was almost too much to read it then. Lewis, too, had only a brief time with his wife. He writes about his love for his "J" and I know just how he felt. Wendy was the only other human on this planet that I never grew tired of. Lewis says, "Her absence is like the sky. It covers everything."