What I've Learned About My Dog in 5 Years

Drying Off After a Long Swim

• She's an ass-kicking bitch. If a dog has the temerity to look her in the eye, she instantly becomes all teeth and goes straight for its neck.
• Despite her vicious front, she is, at heart, a little tiny baby that just wants to be loved.
• She obeys my every command...eventually.
• She hates all new people immediately. If you interact with me and you give her space, she's eventually going to want to lick your face.
• As long as I'm there to watch her, she will swim all day.
• She will exhaust herself chasing balls. When she gets really tired, she forgets to drop the ball.
• She really only has three things to tell me:
  1. I want you to take me out (a carefully placed tissue or sock in the living room)
  2. I'm hungry (a nod and a growl at her food dish)
  3. I love you (licking my face)