Losing Keys Off the Chain

Too many keys, too many attachments

I have trouble watching baseball on TV. It seems like such a time suck. I feel guilty, so I often try to do other things while the game is on. The other day, I used the time to defrag my key chain.

Nearly half (5 of 11) of my keys were mystery keys -- keys I haven't used in at least a year and only vaguely remember what they unlock. Few things are as sad as mystery keys. It's like having a solution to a problem that you've long since forgotten.

The other stuff I removed from my key chain: a red LED flashlight that I never use, Albertsons club card (Big Brother keeping tabs on what I buy from a store I never visit), a flathead screwdriver tool that I never remember to use when I need it, a tiny pen that Wendy gave me that was supplanted by a slightly larger pen that I always carry with index cards in my pocket, and a little silver tag that I added a long time ago when my lonely key chain only had two keys.

Defragging my key chain made me feel lighter and less burdened by the useless past. Also, its mass of sharp edges were slowly tearing holes in the pockets of my pants.

photo credit: My Keychain by joelogon